I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
