I hate all girls vehemently.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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