the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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