guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
