i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
