nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
