you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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