Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
