I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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