my sisters under your porch take her home
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
A+ Viking dick
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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