Three words: puerto rican gang bang
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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