Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
