im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
