At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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