seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
