Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
