just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
