Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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