Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
