I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
