im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The air taste purple.
Randomize
