yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
