oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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