Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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