Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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