I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I want to fling myself into the sun
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
