Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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