She went from zero to smokin in five shots
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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