he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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