i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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