Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
