I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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