And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
