i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
