Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
