The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
