I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My vagina just clenched in fear
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
