Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
