used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
