i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
