I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
