I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
