My brain says no but my pants say off.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
