How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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