So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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