I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
