I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
