so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
