I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
