are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
